You'll Understand When You Have Kids

How many times did we hear that statement during our teenage, college, and pre children years? It usually reared its head when we had complained or whined about not having access to something or having to actually wait for something or worse yet work for something. It is one of those statements that you wish your parents would stop saying but you know that they will never grow old of it.

I was smart enough to understand that my parents were making a point and that someday I would get it. I even told them that "I am smarter than a lot of parents, but not my own." A statement that still comes back as a matter in conversation to this day. I did get it. I did figure that someday I would really understand what would happen if I ever did have children of my own.

As the youngest of six I was not so sure I was going to have kids of my own (if I ever got to the part where I was going to be able to make a choice). I did not have a difficult childhood, I never went hungry, I didn't know any better when it came to having or not having, and I spent a good deal of my teenage years alone with my parents. I had run the gamut. I did not know if I wanted to drag another human, or humans through the journey of life. In fact I didn't ever consider it for most of my college years.

On the night I met my wife we talked about kids. We talked about how many. I didn't hem or haw. I said I thought that a couple of kids was a good idea. No hesitation. No loss of thought. It was a gut reaction and it never changed. I do not know what causes this phenomenon. It was the same as looking at the sky and telling someone what the weather was for that day. I have not given it any thought until I had kids.

Cal was the baby that took all of the work. He was first, early, and complicated. He was orange during a long rainy stretch ("just get him into the sun"). He went to the hospital every day for what seemed like weeks. He wouldn't feed. He had to be fed through a tiny tube attached to my finger while Krista pumped. It was a long baby period. He would not sleep regularly, we vowed to be a team (for the sanity of us both), and we plowed through. We understood now that we had a kid.

Kylie was no work at all. An angel. Did everything just like the Dr. ordered. It was a breeze. Of course it was difficult to get there. We had to actually decide that we wanted the work that went along with it. We had to decide on timing. We had to find out why we were not having any luck conceiving. It all worked out. We understood because we had kids. We knew the work that would go with it.

I get choked up over stupid things now. When I'm watching schlocky movies or TV shows with the moral that the kids will be able to do whatever they want. Those get me. Those bring me to literal tears. I saw UP yesterday, and cried. I won't give it away. But you would understand if you had kids. During the summer we are all off together. We make sure the kids have some camp or lesson time, but not so much that they only do those things. We make sure they have some dead time, time that they have to fill. Someday they will have kids of their own (if they so choose) and they will understand finally because they have kids.