You Choose

I did not sleep well the past two nights. No wonder with Krista being out of town on Saturday night (known and expected) and Sunday night (missed connection and a stay in Dallas), I just didn't have the home touches that I'm used to. Each morning when I woke up I told myself that I could complain all day about being tired and not do anything other then mope around the house and yell at the kids or I could get up and get going and accomplish something so that I would feel the pleasure that comes along with getting something you want done.

Over the past two days I got Cal's room painted, put together a menu and grocery list and finished the laundry. I got up and did it. I made an effort to start moving forward with my day instead of letting those things that I don't have control of, Krista's not being there and a poor night of sleep, stand in the way of me being a grouch all day or not. I was rewarded each day. This all seems like such a simple concept, I've been to therapy about it--I've read about it--I've created mantras about it for day and night, but I got up and did something about it. It is the action not the thoughts that make the biggest difference.

John Wooden, or at least I've seen it attributed to him, said to not let activity be confused with achievement. I've achieved a lot this summer. In fact, this has been the best summer I have had in many, many years. I do not grouse when I awake, I get going, I feel alive and in control. I have learned who to build a wall (literally), I've helped change my kids' rooms, I've been able to tackle much of the Honey-Do's that have piled up over the last six years. It has happened because I choose to make it happen. This blog is my evidence of what goes on.

My grandmother is now 95. She is still as smart as a whip and until recently, could take care of herself and all of her needs. 2 days after her birthday she suffered a fall and broke her hip. She has had to make a choice every day since then about how she wants to feel. My family is aware that she is ready to go and that she makes no bones about it. She has seen enough she tells us. When we visit it is only for her to tell us stories that we have all heard before. She is at a nursing home trying to recover. She is not being a great patient by any stretch of the imagination. I'm sure that she has opened her eyes on more then one day at this point in time only to curse the fact that she was not in the ethereal that the afterlife might be. She needs to choose for herself how she wants to handle this. No one else can. We all encourage her and tell her it will get better with time and effort, but these are things that she has already put a lot into at this stage of her life.

I know that we will all make a choice tomorrow about how we approach our day. I hope that you approach yours with the same enthusiasm that I will have.