Road Trip!

We are on vacation.  Well sort of on vacation.  We are on vacation in the sense that we are away from our home for the week.  It is not a cruise or an airplane ride to some scenic getaway.  We will not come back tanned and massaged.  We will come back from our trip better off then when we left and in conditions that are different from when we got started.

We spent our time on the most scenic drive ever known to mankind.  We got the rare opportunity to drive between Orange County and Stockton.  The great "Valley Corridor" of Interstate 5.  I-5 is one of those drives where if it were possible to hook up your car to stay in its lane (and everyone a safe distance apart) you could read a good book during that time on the road.  With the exception of the Grapevine, it is driving at its dullest.  I think even CHP officers don't bother pulling folks other unless they are really screwing off.

I've made this trip three times so far this year, which is about twice more then I would have made it in any single year.  The first time was for the State Basketball Finals (my school lost), the second my friend Jon's very unexpected funeral, and this is the usual trip to visit with my folks.  Each one has taken about the same amount of time in getting to Stockton.  Right about 5 hours (it is 370 miles--I'll let you do the math).  I've made it in 4.5 from OC before.  When I was at UCLA (about 35 miles closer) I once made it in under 4.  It is about the timing (early morning is best), whether you can make it without stopping (or at least nothing more then a 'splash and dash', and what kind of traffic (truck especially) you get along the way.  The right combination is crucial to making a good (great) time.

Coming back to OC is a different matter.  It is all about LA and what happens there.  If you hit it just right you can cruise through it without getting stopped at all.  If you hit it at the wrong time you can literally take just as long to get from LA (the 405 just south of Magic Mountain) to Orange County as it did to get from Stockton to the 405.  It is just maddening.  The only good news is the fact that in LA there are things to do and places to eat.  It gives us the chance to do something in order to 'let traffic pass'.  Just plain dumb.

We are starting this year's trip in San Jose.  Kylie is skating at a competition, the ISI (recreational) World Finals.  Anyone could have entered.  We chose this one because it was either a good start or end to the rest of our trip.  Kylie has been skating really well and we are all hoping for a really great result.  It would be cool to be world champ, even if it was something we 'qualified' for by making sure our paperwork and payment were in on time. We are only in San Jose for one day and then we head to Stockton for the rest of it.  

We are in Stockton to see my parents and grandmother.  For the regulars you know that grandma has had all kinds of problems with her health as of late.  I will go and make the trip out to see her at the nursing facility in a couple of days.  I'm not looking forward to it much because I was the last person, outside of my grandmother, to see my grandfather in the hospital when he passed away.  It was very difficult to see him in such a withered state and I am hoping that this trip is not a reminder of that.  One of the main tasks will be working on grandma's former apartment and getting things in storage.  It appears that she will spend the rest of her time in the nursing facility.

We are also in town to see my folks.  My parents are in their mid 70s and are not as mobile as they once were.  I told them to make sure they had things for me to take care of while I'm in town.  I want them to get the house taken care of so that they will not have the worry of what might go on later in life.  My brothers and sister are also in the process of helping my parents divest of many of their gatherings over the years.  I am taking a large die-cast car collection and selling it for my folks.  I am also taking a couple of sewing machines for my wife so she can continue sewing skating costumes.  There is a ton more and I am hoping to make some inroads on getting more things, stuff that has dust that is older then the grandchildren (Andrea is 28 I believe).  

We have seen my parents go through their parents homes after they passed away.  Know we are dealing with grandma and the nursing home and what is left of her possessions.  We know, and hope, that my parents have quite a bit of time left on this planet.  We also know that they have a lifetime of collections within the house (and sheds, and greenhouse, and closets, and . . .) and we want to ensure them the quality of life without chasing them off from their stuff.  It is hard.  In fact it is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.  I hope my folks understand that none of the kids want anything other then the best for them.  We just want to be able to make sure that all of us know what that means.  

Nerds of the World, Unite!

I spent my 17th wedding anniversary at the world's largest gathering of geeks and nerds. I was told to go by my wife, who spent the day with my daughter cleaning the house, in order to keep track of my 12 year old son. He is the reason that we went to see the largest collection of everything that would label someone a dweeb on this planet.

We saw half a mile of convention center filled with toys, anime/manga, posters, t-shirts, video games, movie promos, and comic book art and artists. If you can remember the name of that greasy headed kid who sat in your Algebra class and was always doodling or reading whatever would have been the equivalent of Harry Potter or Twilight, there is a good chance he, or she, was here at Comic-Con.

My son was overwhelmed. Heck, I was overwhelmed. The shear mass of products and promos, the thousands, I'm sure it pushed somewhere between 50 and 100 thousand people at its peak during the day, and the frenetic pace of all of it was something to behold. We were there with a family friend and industry insider (he has done every job that would get you to Comic-Con, currently a toy designer) and his 10 year old daughter. We were in good hands because we had someone with us that knew the ins and outs of the building and the right paths to take.

The "stuff", the really big "stuff" from Nickelodeon, Warner Bros., Paramount, Lionsgate, Hasbro, Mattel, Konami, Nintendo, Marvel, DC, etc., was not nearly as impressive as what was available for no cost at all. All of the biggies had freebies, giant bags, t-shirts, mini-mags, and the like, but they were not the soul of the "Con". It was in "Artists Alley" where we ended up spending most of our time learning about the art and love that makes all of the other "stuff" possible in the end.

Artists Alley is the place where the artists, inkers, and colorists set up shop. They are there to renew acquaintances, do some networking, and show off what they have done during the past year. They are folks have a genuine passion for what they are doing and have never worked a day in their life in this line of work. They love what they do and do what they love. I was able to find out from Steve, my friend who got us in as Professionals for the day, that these folks really are starving artists if they don't line up enough work to drown themselves.

Cal and Devon, Steve's daughter, brought along sketchbooks and smiles, and hoped to get a few drawings, say 7, to get s start on their collection. Steve is nearing the end of his third book, a collection that in the "Con" world is filled with priceless (I'm not kidding) gems that other artists sit back and marvel at. The kids were a bit shy at first and had to be prodded, but they picked up a number of drawings (all free) that was staggering. Between the two they ended up with 47 sketches (23 for Cal and 24 fro Devon) from artists that have done cover work, published books, done game cards, video games, toys, you name it. They both walked away with books worth somewhere in the neighborhood of $600.

The other things they walked away with were priceless. They both, me too as I watched almost each and every piece get drawn, learned the appreciation of what can be done by someone with the right mind set, training and purpose. These kids got to know what this, or any other artwork, is really about. They also got to learn how to give back to the artist. Many of the artists commented on the fact that it was nice to see the kids and a pleasure to get them involved in the work that has involved so much of their lives.

I loved watching what went on for my kid yesterday. To see his eyes grow as the sketch of "The Flash", or "Captain America" came to life. Our favorite drawing of the entire day was also one of the first. A young lady who is a San Diego local, just trying to get a start, drew a wonderful little platypus for Cal. It's cute. It's lively. Then she outdid herself with a drawing for Devon of a rabbit standing on its hindlegs eating a carrot sandwich. It is a classic image that I adore.

I'll go back to the Con. I don't think I'll stray to far from the Alley though.

The Aging

There are two ladies in my life that are aging very quickly. I can literally see the day to day differences in them. They are having trouble with their mobility, sight, hearing, and are not as sharp as they once were. They are unable to enjoy life because of these conditions and medical science can only prolong their lives without necessarily improving the quality of their lives.

At first she started making noises like she was lost, like she was unable to find where she was supposed to be. It progressed to shaking in what looked like uncontrollable spurts. The next symptom was a loss of appetite and an extreme amount of lethargy. Lately it has been the inability to see where she is going. You can tell her frustration. You can sense her loss. She is actually running into walls, chairs, others, and she never saw them coming.

Princess is our first addition to the family that Krista and I started. She has been with us since the summer of 1992 and she is now 17 years old. It doesn't sound like much, but Princess is our cat. 17 equates to something well over 100 in human years. She is more lovable now then she every was growing up. We are starting to attribute that to her inability to see. We have really started to notice it a lot this week. She just can't get to where she wants to without it being an enormous struggle. She still manages to smell her way around the house, getting to the food and water, going through the cat door to use the litter box. She has not lost her ability to control her bodily functions but it is only a matter of time before we will have to make a decision on how much she is suffering. It is hard to watch because she has been with us for so long. She is older then our kids.

My grandmother is going through a similar scenario. Grandma is 95. Up until she turned 95 she was mobile (a walker an occasional wheelchair, but able to get around on her own), alert, and able to tend to herself and all of her needs. She was one of the few residents of her, I don't know what the correct terminology would be, "home". She did not have someone giving her meds (she only had one or two to take), she did not have someone helping her move or use the facility or any of those things that we all take for granted until we lose those abilities.

Grandma fell two days after her 95th birthday and broke her hip. She has had surgery on the hip, has had to move to an actually nursing home and had around the clock help and supervision. She has not taken any of this well. My grandmother is a stubborn person but she is not someone who is going to put up an argument with you face to face. Usually she will just not do something if she does not want to do it. That is what has been going on since she left the hospital the first time. She will not eat on a regular basis. She will not cooperate for therapy for her hip. She is wasting away.

Matters got worse just recently. She somehow managed to fall again and fractured her femur, on the same leg as the broken hip, just above her replaced knee. She had surgery last night and is in recovery again today. She is too weary to give anyone grief at the moment.

I get to make a decision about my cat and how long she goes on. My grandmother does not get any choice in whether she continues on or not. She is not crazy, she is not senile, she is simply old and when old happens like this it compounds itself very quickly. With both of these ladies I hope that the rest of their days are better then the ones they have had just recently.

Mealtime

I made Beercan Chicken tonight. It isn't difficult at all as long as you follow the recipe the first few times. I can just about grill-roast a chicken or turkey to the minute without having to check it at all. I love the way these birds come off of the grill with such a smoky flavor and juicy tenderness in every bite. It is one of my favorite things about the summer.

The fact is food is one of my favorite things period. I love to eat. I love to eat well. I can't stand fast food or prepacked heat and eat crap. Those things turn me off faster than a dog licking peanut butter out of my ass crack (George Pelacanos wrote that line in a book I just finished). My family likes to eat food that is well prepared and well thought out. We are picky when it comes to food. We will try anything, but we want to make sure it came out of our hands, following our rules, following our tastes.

It can get down right bad at times. We have virtually stopped eating out anymore because the quality of the food is so bad and when we get the bill we realize that we did not even enjoy what was in front of us. At this point and time about the only thing we eat out anymore is seafood, fish and sushi specifically, because that is one of those items that we just never quiet get right. It isn't tricky, or so we've been led to believe, but we have thrown away or eaten overcooked fish on more then one occasion.

We usually turn down invitations to go and eat at the neighbors as well. The two men are both grill masters who have never really taken the time to use temperature as the key to cooking over fire. They do not read recipes and the like to cook ribs (one of my least favorites off of the grill). When we do go, we usually make sure that we either eat at home before hand, that way we only have a little bit of the food there, or we will bring over something that we know we will eat as kind of "we thought this would go well with . . . " gesture.

We have also taken over the local holiday cooking as well. Usually this is the exclusive territory of the eldest living female in the area (in this case my mother-in-law) however we have become snobs when it comes to this tradition as well. We always offer to cook on Thanksgiving and Christmas (the other holidays and birthdays we offer as well), so that we can make sure that we serve a meal that we will want to eat. We always look at the whole table and make sure that we serve something that everyone will enjoy, but we always want that food to come from our hands and kitchen.

We like to cook. We love hearing the satisfaction that comes from peoples expression and thanks. It really is important for us to have that big family meal (and during the summer it is all three meals) each and every day. I grew up with my family around the dinner table. We watched the news, we talked about what was going on, we bonded. It wasn't always pretty, but it was when we knew we would be together at the same time to make sure that we knew what was going on in each others lives.

That is what the importance of meals together bring. It is about being able to share good food and family time in order for everyone to see what is happening in our bubble of the world.

Letting Go

I met with the new Assistant Principal at my school today. He has taken over the post that I, willing, vacated. Even though I have not been thinking about that job or what it entails, I guess I have been thinking about it. I have not been able to give it to someone else until today. It was the starting point that I needed in order to move away from the job at large.

When I got my first AP job, all the way back last year, I had an idea of what I was doing. I knew that the majority of the job was about kids and discipline and attendance issues. This is what I really thought I was going to spend my time on. If I been able to spend my time on these items I might not be in the position I'm currently in. This might not be my 30th post this summer. I might not have learned how to hang drywall, or repaint the kids rooms, or read 10 books in 6 weeks, or . . . .

I dealt with adults. Adults who did not know how to always conduct themselves for the betterment of the kids around them. I dealt with those who always had something to say about the kids, I dealt with parents who were always coming up with an excuse for their kids (or their own) behavior, and I dealt with ALL of their problems on top of what I was supposed to do, as well as those things I wanted to accomplish. I've never been the one who wanted to be in charge. I'm a great helper, I'm a great thinker and creator, I'm not good at getting (forcing) people to do what I think they should already know to do.

When I met with James today, James is the new AP, I didn't see myself in the office. I didn't see myself longing for the position. I didn't see me in that spot anymore. I was able to help him, and in turn help the school, and offered my advice and knowledge on kids and how to approach some of the tasks he will face this summer and into the fall. He looked confident in what was going on. He seemed to be ready to face the tasks and deal with all of those things that will come his way. I was happy to let him know that I would be there to help when he needed something, that I would throw my two cents in when necessary, but that I knew that the job was not mine. It was a satisfying feeling. It was another step forward. It was something that made me tell some one just how great my summer has been.

It is good to know that you are good at somethings. It is even better to know that you can be good at somethings and be able to walk away from them and not do them because they are things you do not want to do. I'm looking forward to what the school year has in store.

You Choose

I did not sleep well the past two nights. No wonder with Krista being out of town on Saturday night (known and expected) and Sunday night (missed connection and a stay in Dallas), I just didn't have the home touches that I'm used to. Each morning when I woke up I told myself that I could complain all day about being tired and not do anything other then mope around the house and yell at the kids or I could get up and get going and accomplish something so that I would feel the pleasure that comes along with getting something you want done.

Over the past two days I got Cal's room painted, put together a menu and grocery list and finished the laundry. I got up and did it. I made an effort to start moving forward with my day instead of letting those things that I don't have control of, Krista's not being there and a poor night of sleep, stand in the way of me being a grouch all day or not. I was rewarded each day. This all seems like such a simple concept, I've been to therapy about it--I've read about it--I've created mantras about it for day and night, but I got up and did something about it. It is the action not the thoughts that make the biggest difference.

John Wooden, or at least I've seen it attributed to him, said to not let activity be confused with achievement. I've achieved a lot this summer. In fact, this has been the best summer I have had in many, many years. I do not grouse when I awake, I get going, I feel alive and in control. I have learned who to build a wall (literally), I've helped change my kids' rooms, I've been able to tackle much of the Honey-Do's that have piled up over the last six years. It has happened because I choose to make it happen. This blog is my evidence of what goes on.

My grandmother is now 95. She is still as smart as a whip and until recently, could take care of herself and all of her needs. 2 days after her birthday she suffered a fall and broke her hip. She has had to make a choice every day since then about how she wants to feel. My family is aware that she is ready to go and that she makes no bones about it. She has seen enough she tells us. When we visit it is only for her to tell us stories that we have all heard before. She is at a nursing home trying to recover. She is not being a great patient by any stretch of the imagination. I'm sure that she has opened her eyes on more then one day at this point in time only to curse the fact that she was not in the ethereal that the afterlife might be. She needs to choose for herself how she wants to handle this. No one else can. We all encourage her and tell her it will get better with time and effort, but these are things that she has already put a lot into at this stage of her life.

I know that we will all make a choice tomorrow about how we approach our day. I hope that you approach yours with the same enthusiasm that I will have.

Home Alone

Krista is in San Antonio for the next couple of days. She is presenting her wisdom to teachers about Advanced Placement and how to teach it better. She is a pro. She is the one that so many people say to their colleagues, "if you get the chance to see her or get her to your school you should." I'm not kidding in the least about this. She just recently held a private consultation for a couple of teachers at the beginning of the summer based on this kind of recommendation. She is that good at what she does.

The problem is that it usually means she has to travel somewhere "exotic" in order to get the job done. It pays well, $500 for the day plus expenses, but it is always an empty feeling when the check comes in the mail. The time that she is gone, and it usually is pretty short this days, is really a downer. Neither one of us sleeps well, we both get crabby, and we want the whole thing to be over as soon as possible. This does not take into account anything that might be going on with the kids and their schedules, the normal errands and chores, nor all of the fun things that have to happen in order to travel. It is something I can't stand.

Krista knows I hate it. She only does it to keep her name out there and to help out those people at the "Board" that she respects. To her it is nothing more then skating money. Get in, get out, get paid. She has made quite a few contacts through all of this, and has been able to really see what the rest of the nation is doing and dealing with when it comes to education. She is a voice of reason to these arguments. She is out there to help make teachers teach kids better in the classroom. It really is as simple as that.

I just don't like having her gone. The kids don't like it either. They are strange with the way they handle it though. They are usually perfect for the time that she is gone and then the second she comes through the door they act like they are on crack. It is bizarre. It is them listening to her say "be good for daddy" and taking that literally. I'm the one who has the most problems of the bunch while she is out, that is for sure.

During her departures I usually find myself wasting a lot of time in front of the computer, eating food that is not good for anyone, sleeping during the day and not sleeping at night. It is all psycho (I know I am) symatic. I convince myself that things cannot be accomplished because she is not around. That all decision making processes must be put on hold because she would know better ("grape or strawberry jelly?"). It is a dilemma that I have only conquered through making sure that I keep myself busy. Today that meant starting to paint Cal's room. Tomorrow it will mean more of the same.

Krista will be back, weather permitting, Around 10:30 tomorrow night. She will be exhausted, and so will I. She will come home and fall asleep as quick as can be, but I still be up just to make sure that she really is back home where she belongs.

Guilty Pleasure

I have a guilty pleasure I indulge in every time I go online at home. My wife knows about. I can't get away from it. In fact there are some days when I go back to look over and over again. It is just one of the those things I can't get enough of.

I love looking at the "FREE" postings on Craigslist. It is something I can't get enough of. The most popular give aways are dirt (always clean) and cardboard moving boxes. After these two it usually is IKEA furniture. I've encountered everything from a desk, to wardrobes, cabinets and lamps. All of them were working and in good shape, although slight used. I can't figure out why people would get rid of the IKEA stuff.

This really satisfies my hunger as a browser. I love to just see what is available at places like Costco, Big Lots and the occasional jaunt to the 99 cent store (or less!). I like to think of it as a treasure hunt where I will be the one at the next gathering who can say, "I found it at (fill in favorite discounter here). It was only (fill in ridiculous low price here)!" The thing is, I haven't had that kind of luck. I've found great deals, acted on some of them, but really I just like the pursuit. I'm kind of a voyeur when it comes to shopping.

Craigslist is perfect for doing all of my browsing without ever leaving the house. One thing will lead to another and the next thing you know you are actually looking up something that you might actually need and/or use. I've never seen a more active place then the postings for Los Angeles. One day there were over 150 postings for free stuff. Curb alerts, driveway dumps, in the alleys, you name it, it was there. It is the perfect place to find a new TV. I'm not kidding. Go look right now and I guarantee that you will find at least one working TV that is free of cost. It will not be a flatscreen but it will be a TV. The best posting was a picture of two iPods. The title "take my son's toys away please". They were gone in a flash.

I just cleared out the garage and had a driveway full of stuff. I did not post it Craigslist. There was some really good stuff. A couple of bookcases (not from IKEA), some old cookbooks, some old clothes, a lot of things that I'm sure people could have used. I took them to Goodwill instead. When it comes to big loads I want to make sure that people in need really get the stuff. I have gotten rid of a homemade workbench on CL's though. It was great to get so much attention.

I've got to go. I have to see if there is something I need on the list today. Maybe today I'll find that pot of gold.

Menu Time

We make a weekly menu. We've been doing this for as long as I can remember. I picked it up from my mother while living at home. Monday was always Mac & Cheese (not that crappy stuff in the blue box). It was a weekly adventure to figure out what to eat on what night based on what was going on. It still holds the same interest today.

During the school year we try to make our meal selections as utilitarian as possible. We steer towards one pot, one skillet meals that provide a lot of leftovers (lunch the next day and a couple of future servings in the freezer). We will put together a list and hit the stores, on an exceptional week this will be the ONLY trip to the grocery store. The whole process of menu and list usually only takes thirty or so minutes.

The shopping can be involved. It is always two or more stores. We can't stand the produce at the big chains. It taste like sand. We have a local market that literally has farm fresh produce. If it is in season then they will have not only the best of the best but also the best price on it as well. It is something that we have tried and tried to convince ourselves that we can make do at the other stores, but it is not possible. The shopping takes place on the weekend and can take a couple of hours. It beats having to do any of it after work and practice during the week.

When putting together the menu, Krista will start going through the cookbooks to get ideas going. I play along and "listen" as she goes through the recipes and starts to read them to me ingredient by ingredient. Her mother does the same. Her sister (who does not cook all that much) does the same. I try to keep in tune because it can mean the difference between a wonderful meal and an "Arby" meal. "Arbier's" are meals that are so bad you will go and eat at Arby's instead of what you just cooked (we have not had an official one in a while--we have bitten the bullet and got close--but no actually trips to the restaurant whose hat looks like a penis). We have pared down to only a few cookbooks (this means 20 or so--not counting the 4 magazines we get with recipes in them), so we know what to expect on a pretty regular basis.

We eat well. We sometimes don't always read the entire recipe and have to improvise, but the food always comes out great. You might not eat it that day (cause you forget how much time it takes) but it taste great the next time for sure. We try not to eat out because of the low quality of the food, the price, and the inconvenience that going to restaurant causes. We had three meals out over the weekend (two dinners and a lunch). We spent more on those three meals then we would have on a weeks worth of shopping. It just doesn't compute.

So the next time you are looking for something good to eat take a little time to think out your plan and be able to savor that well thought out meal.

Professional Duty

I was signed up for a conference last Friday and Saturday. It was paid for by an outside agency and it was for a class that I would not be teaching. My motivation to drive to an airport hotel, not just any airport but LAX, on a Friday and then a Saturday was waning to say the least. I was looking for just about any reason I should not attend however my professional duty kicked in and I went.

The conference was not half bad. The presenter knew her stuff and her audience and did not waste our time. I was not displeased to hear what was said about career/life planning for 9th grade students. I think that there are some really good things to use in the classroom setting. I think this is something, that even though it is the middle of the summer, that is getting me excited about going to school. It is time to go, early in fact and ahead of traffic, and then the conference starts to grind.

As I get out to my car I realize that the parking was not picked up by the conference. Usually this is something that I do not have to worry about. In 15 years of this kind of thing I have never had to pay for parking. Not only do I have to pay but I have to pay $16 to get out of a lot that I was lucky to find a space in to begin with. I remembered that I can write off the parking, it was a good conference, and that tomorrow I'll be there at 8:30 and not have to worry about parking.

On Saturday I got to the venue on time (early as always) and found even more problems in the lot. Not only was I going to have to pay for the spot, again (bringing the total to $32 so my car can sit idle), but now the attendant has told me to go to a neighboring hotel because this venue is full. I'm beginning to get my hackels up a bit at this point. But I signed up so off I go. I go to the next hotel and their lot has a clearance of 5' 11" (I drive a Nissan Titan that sits well above that mark), as well as the fact that they are not expecting any overflow AND they do not have the capacity. My conference started 15 minutes ago. I'm starting to get upset. I press on to the next lot. Private. Between the two hotels. No attendant. A pay in the lobby place with no posted prices. I'm gone. It is 9:00 I've missed 30 minutes and will miss at least another 20 before I even get in the building.

I've never signed up for a conference to not attend. Never. But I've never encountered difficultly gaining access either. It was bizarre. Usually every thing you can imagine is done to make sure you can be there. Extra copies no problem. Email any questions no worries. Extra bag or pen or widget, take what you want. Not this time. I called my wife, a teacher as well (who has never missed a conference either) and asked if I was being a schmo. No way. How many lots? 3? Take off.

I went home and then to the rink to watch my girl skate in competition. It took me awhile to drop the guilt/anger that I felt. I got over it when I saw her smile and she told me how happy she was that I was going to see all of her routines. It was the most important conference that I've ever been to. No parking issues the rest of the day.

Projects and Projects

I'm very task oriented. I love the feeling of getting something finished. I like to see it through from the start to the finish all in one fell swoop. No middle dabble into something else. No getting another project started before this one is finished. I like to get it started and get it finished and then move forward.

I'm getting closer to being done with the drywall in the garage. It really looks good. I'm amazed at the difference it makes in the whole space. I never thought that it would ever make such an overwhelming difference to what is really not a room that I spend much time in. My father-in-law helped me put up the drywall. He was instrumental in making the measurements and cuts. He said something today that made me very proud. I've being doing the 'mudding', taping joints and using joint compound to finish the wall before getting it painted. He told me that the next time he does drywall he wants me to come and do the mudding. It was a great compliment coming from someone who I consider to be pretty darn handy in all respects.

The problem with projects is that they can sometime interfere with other projects you have going on. I am trying to reclaim my girlish figure. I have let (knowingly) creep back on my frame since March. I got off to a great start with my eating and exercise programs and then just fell off the cliff since I became programmed to my project in the garage. I started missing workouts because "I put up the insulation, drywall, etc" and that will count for it. Then it was a weekend binge that has really got my head spinning. My body is ready to be reclaimed. I am ready to reclaim it.

What makes it all unusual is that during the summer I usually am "out of shape". The fact that I am working and moving all day and then working out truly must exhaust my body. I just want to get to the school year where I have already taken off the unneeded poundage and flab so that I can not worry so much about what else I need to do. Of course when you start adding in the reading I'm doing (I'm on my tenth book of the summer) and the writing (I think this is post 24) and the projects (garage, attic, kids rooms, a bunch of finish work) that what I'm really learning is the art of balance. It was the lack of balance in my life that through me off track to begin with.

When I went into administration I was told by a friend at work to not lose sight of having balance. Make sure that you do not become your work nor your work become who you are. I was not capable of that. The job consumed me and then it devoured me and then it turned my soul inside out. When I made the shift in schools mid-year people could tell I was not the same. I wasn't. I'm still not. I'm far better and happier now then I have been in a long, long time. It has taken some reminders about the most important projects (me, my wife and kids) that have allowed me to tackle some of those other things that you just want to do.

Inspiration

A couple of people have asked me, almost demanded, to make sure I write something everyday. It is not the easiest task in the world. I have to narrow in on one particular topic that I have not been able to really expand on before and then type enough to make the little elevator thingy on the side of my writing pane get small enough to let me know I've said enough. The toughest part is the idea for that day, once that comes the rest of it is like being a housecat, no worries at all.

I've been 'off' the past couple of days. I did not write on either Friday nor Saturday. On Friday I was at a conference for the better part of the day, a school thing during the summer (you mean teachers work during the summer too?), and on Saturday I was supposed to be back at the same conference and then in Lakewood to watch Kylie skate. I was not in the mood to write at the end of either day.

Not that these days did not provide me with material. Don't get me wrong, there was no lack of material (I'll share it with you during the week), I just did not want to commit myself to 'paper'. My goal has been to write something new, something about a page, about everyday. It is the first time in my life that I have ever written each and every day. It is the first time in my life that I have taken the opportunity to really sit back and reflect on something at the end of each day. It has been a great experience each time I sit down.

Another goal with this is to not dwell on the obvious. If it is something that has ended up on the news and the talk/late show circuit, I'm not very likely to talk about it. I am trying to deal with the things that each of us deal with on a regular basis. It is not about how I feel about the Michael Jackson Memorial (are you kidding me?) or the latest news that the government was spying on ALL of us without permission (no way), it is how I feel about the 'nothing' that goes on during my day. I'm not Seinfeld. I haven't put these things down before. It is cathartic. It is strange. It is something that gets me engaged better with what is going on in my life.

So as I write this week I will tell you more about what happened, or didn't. I'm sure that I'l do this between getting the garage finished, starting to paint the kids rooms (time to redecorate) and learning how to do stucco patching. I'm a busy guy this vacation. I'm going to make the most of it.

Exhaustion

As promised, the garage is now drywalled. I learned quite a bit from the experience and the experience has left me exhausted. It is a good tired but I'm tired. My feet and ankles are killing me (prior injury doesn't help) and I really want dessert but there is nothing of the "bad" stuff in the house (on purpose).

Cal is pooped out as well. He has been at basketball camp for the last three days. Full days. 9:00 until 4:00 each day. He loved every minute of it but it really wore him out. He is starting to get the idea that hardwork does payoff in the end. It has been good to watch both the tired and the light bulb go on.

Krista is wiped out. She is learning to sew ice skating stuff. She is trying to help save the family budget and gain a little more creative control. She has not had the greatest nights of sleep, which is very unusual for her. She has been busting her rear end with skating and running and playing and baking. She is ready for bed.

Kylie is just plain tired. She went and spent the night at Gammy's and that always means a little (or a lot) less sleep then normal. She had an hour lesson this morning, which was a follow up to all of the other skating she done this week to get ready for the big competition this weekend. She just want to sit around and watch cartoons.

We are a tired family. We are all really happy but we are all really tired as well. It is one of the times when the good news is the fact we are on vacation and not headed out the door on a trip to get away from it all (which is in many cases not relaxing at all). We are just getting ready for tomorrow and what it brings to us.

I'm pretty sure there will be some sleeping going on around here tonight.

Skills, Mad Skills

I insulated the garage today. Just me. No one else. I did it for practice (the attic is next) and I did it so I will be able to do it later on when my kids call me.

I've been lucky to grow up around two men who were able to put things together and learn what to do and how to do it. My father has always been very good at building things. He built a number of sheds (all still standing after all these years), greenhouses, and numerous toy boxes and footbeasts. He was a true wood butcher.

My father-in-law is the engineer. Electrical, mechanical, plumbing, devices, a way to rig up the impossible (or at least the pain in the butt) has always been his forte. I've watched (and learned) how to do a number of things because he has always been willing to give it a try. He is the one that always gets the call to come and fix something.

I never really had any terrible interest in fixing things or putting things together. I'm great at the concept. I can tell you what I want it to look like with no problem at all. I'm just not that great at getting it together. I've had great tutors (see above and add in my brother Kelly as well to that group) but I never really sat down to do anything on my own. I never thought it was all that important.

This summer I had a list of things I wanted to get done around the house. Some of them require me to learn new skills. Some of them are things that I will be able to use later on in life when the kids call and ask me to come and help them. I have begun to realize that there is likely to be a generation in the very near future that does not know how to do things around the house on their own. I can't be one of them.

Tomorrow my father-in-law is coming over to help me put up drywall in the garage. I've told him to help but to let me do it. I want him to look at the job I'm doing and criticize where needed and teach when necessary. I want to be able to take care of this issues on my own. I want to look at the light fixture in the front room and change it when I want, because I know I can.

Motivate, Motivate, Nah

I had one of those days where I got up raring to go and do something, anything, and just couldn't do it. I went to the gym and had a great workout but just didn't get much farther then that today. The good news is I don't feel bad about it. There is no bad news and sometimes in situations like this that is all you feel from the situation.

I had big plans today. I was going to get my rear over to Home Depot and get the supplies I needed to insulate and drywall the one unfinished wall in the garage. It is part of my home improvement bent (you should see how Cal and I made the tile sparkle) that usually takes place during the summer and then fizzles out about the third week of vacation.

I wasn't tired, I wasn't upset. I did not think about it much at all. I just couldn't drag myself to the store to do it. I didn't watch the macabre proceedings of the Jackson memorial. I didn't spend too much time on the computer just wasting time. I didn't spend a lot of time reading. I just didn't get to it. Bottom line. Nope, didn't do it.

I like to look back on each day and know I got something done. It could be that I read a lot, called someone, ran a bunch of errands, something, anything it doesn't matter, but let me have the chance to point at it and say 'aha' at the end of the day. Today's moment(s) are going to the gym and getting gas in both cars. I indulged in a guilty pleasure of walking, nay, meandering, through Costco. It was a glorious 30 minutes or more of just looking and picking up and putting down. I walked out with nothing that I didn't walk in with.

I just poured through 35 pages of my current book during the last hour. It wasn't a response to not getting anything done as much a response to not wanting to watch the crap on the idiot box. I did the dishes, took Cal to basketball camp (he is wiped out), emptied the dishes, made dinner, but I don't have that one thing to look back on today. In the very recent past this would have kept me up tonight. The things you could have done, you lost a whole day, when will it get down? I've changed. It is okay to not have something to hang on to each and everyday because, in the words of John Wooden, "a lot of activity does not always equate to achievement."

So when you look back on what it was today that kept you going, or your project that you finished, remember that you got a lot of things done today, or not. Neither of them matter, what matters is the fact that you are okay with just what you managed throughout.

You'll Understand When You Have Kids

How many times did we hear that statement during our teenage, college, and pre children years? It usually reared its head when we had complained or whined about not having access to something or having to actually wait for something or worse yet work for something. It is one of those statements that you wish your parents would stop saying but you know that they will never grow old of it.

I was smart enough to understand that my parents were making a point and that someday I would get it. I even told them that "I am smarter than a lot of parents, but not my own." A statement that still comes back as a matter in conversation to this day. I did get it. I did figure that someday I would really understand what would happen if I ever did have children of my own.

As the youngest of six I was not so sure I was going to have kids of my own (if I ever got to the part where I was going to be able to make a choice). I did not have a difficult childhood, I never went hungry, I didn't know any better when it came to having or not having, and I spent a good deal of my teenage years alone with my parents. I had run the gamut. I did not know if I wanted to drag another human, or humans through the journey of life. In fact I didn't ever consider it for most of my college years.

On the night I met my wife we talked about kids. We talked about how many. I didn't hem or haw. I said I thought that a couple of kids was a good idea. No hesitation. No loss of thought. It was a gut reaction and it never changed. I do not know what causes this phenomenon. It was the same as looking at the sky and telling someone what the weather was for that day. I have not given it any thought until I had kids.

Cal was the baby that took all of the work. He was first, early, and complicated. He was orange during a long rainy stretch ("just get him into the sun"). He went to the hospital every day for what seemed like weeks. He wouldn't feed. He had to be fed through a tiny tube attached to my finger while Krista pumped. It was a long baby period. He would not sleep regularly, we vowed to be a team (for the sanity of us both), and we plowed through. We understood now that we had a kid.

Kylie was no work at all. An angel. Did everything just like the Dr. ordered. It was a breeze. Of course it was difficult to get there. We had to actually decide that we wanted the work that went along with it. We had to decide on timing. We had to find out why we were not having any luck conceiving. It all worked out. We understood because we had kids. We knew the work that would go with it.

I get choked up over stupid things now. When I'm watching schlocky movies or TV shows with the moral that the kids will be able to do whatever they want. Those get me. Those bring me to literal tears. I saw UP yesterday, and cried. I won't give it away. But you would understand if you had kids. During the summer we are all off together. We make sure the kids have some camp or lesson time, but not so much that they only do those things. We make sure they have some dead time, time that they have to fill. Someday they will have kids of their own (if they so choose) and they will understand finally because they have kids.

Routines

I wish I could say that I'm spontaneous. I'm not. I'm pretty darn calculated in the things that I do. I get in certain grooves (which have become ruts at times) and do things over and over again in a comforting ritual. The way I run these routines, or I should say the way these routines run me, encompasses every aspect of my life.

The routines are simple things. Doing the dishes before going out the door to work in the morning. Working the crossword puzzles before going to sleep. Writing at around the same time each and every day. Eating in patterns (good or bad). Working out or not working out. It is a strange dance that seems to take over my life.

I'm not OCD, but I'm close. I can alter routines and drop them altogether. I just happen to like the comfort that I am provided by the routines themselves. It is one of the reasons I am so picky about traveling. I need to be able to adhere to the routine. I need that next hit just like an addict. I want to be able to do things but I want to be able to things the way I want to do them.

This is the next problem though. I like routines but I don't like to make a lot of decisions. I am very flexible and am willing to change what I do or when I do it, as long as I don't have to make a decision. I've been trying to get Cal to not agonize so much over the little decisions in life (chocolate or vanilla?) so that he will be able to make decisions throughout his adult life. I think the two things go together in some strange kind of symbiosis. They live off of each other in certain peacefulness that allows me to function in all types of situations.

I both have a schedule, yet have no schedule at all. I can do anything, or nothing at all. It allows me to be all that I want to be and to be all that others may need me to be, to a point. The downfall of all of this is when I don't want to break from a routine and don't want to make a decision. It is the passive-aggressive equivalent of a Molotov Cocktail. It is just danger waiting to happen. I usually swallow my pride and mope (I am famous for my mopes) but lately I've been able to steer clear of it all.

I know tomorrow I will donate blood. I know I'll do the dishes, but I'm not really sure what will go on after that. I know that my routine will guide me, or not.

July 4th and the Idle Minds

I enjoy the feelings of patriotism that is invoked each 4th of July. I think about what courage it must have taken to break away from a known entity, the supplier of goods and trade, in order to set up an entirely new country. It amazes me that this even happened and that it turned out as well as it has (some moments better than others--but I have the right to write this because of what happened). It also amazes me what happens in my neighborhood each year.

I live right next to the pool. From my front door to the pool fence is 15 feet. I'm closer than any other family in the tract. It is a tiny 12 1/2 yard pool that is 5 yards wide. Just a big rectangle with water. No diving board, no slide, just water. I get to live with all of the riff-raff that goes on at the pool whether I want to or not.

For the last four or so years, people in the tract have organized a party for the 4th. It involves roasting a pig, playing badminton and croquet, and wading through the morass of side dishes that wander in from those who show up. Of course all of this takes place right at the pool. Right outside my door. Start time for set up 7:00 am. Clean up time, well after I've gone to bed.

My neighbors are good people. They mean no harm and really are just looking to bring the community and their other friends together to celebrate the reason we get to have parties like this in the first place. I just don't want to hear about it anymore. They start their planning months in advance, no joking, on where to set up this or that, how long the pig might take to roast this time and whether there will be enough food and drink for everyone. It becomes the only topic of conversation from late May until the blessed event.

We have gone out of our way to participate and not participate over the years. We don't really enjoy the loud noise, excessive drinking, numbers of people, or trust the quality of the cooking (we just aren't into food poisoning). Not to mention the constant walking into my backyard by people searching for the shuttlecock that they have hit out of the "court" (the fence has been blown down recently used for the court--they are making a new post-in-a-bucket to continue).

We don't voice our objections to the party. We have celebrated other places, have left early, have simply gone inside when we were done (the good part is we do live close enough to do all of those things whenever we want). I overheard them talking about the party at the pool today. The topic that I thought interesting was not about the size of the pig (100 lbs--too much, too hard to cook evenly, will never be done on time), nor the new post system for badminton, what got my attention was the fact that the board does not see this as necessarily the greatest activity for the whole of the community. I'm on the fence. Being the homeowner who is most impacted (and has never been asked about my opinion on the party itself) I want to say "make it go away". Being someone who understands the importance of the day itself, the real meaning of the struggle this country has faced to become what it is, and the struggle it faces to keep moving forward, I want to say "keep on going".

The 4th will come and go. I'll donate blood in the morning and get my T-shirt. I'll come out to the party for awhile here and there (mostly to watch my own kids), and I'll climb back into my house when I want and as often as I want. All of this is good news.

Volunteer--Who me?

For years I have said "I really need to donate my time to something".  It usually ends up that my time would be donated to the couch, computer or some "chore" that I invented as being more important than the cause.  I did something different this summer that I think will make a big difference.

I have committed myself at 5 different events so far this fall.  They are all walks or runs for various diseases.  I don't have a specific cause.  I think that all of these ideas are worthy of someone helping out to make sure they can pull it off.  They are on Saturdays when I'm available.  I've signed up, my email confirmations are sitting in the inbox.  I feel great and I haven't done anything yet.

What was so different this year?  As stupid as this sounds, T-shirts.  My friend Tim, organizes a team of students each year to walk in the MS Walk each spring.  A couple of them signed up as Volunteers instead of participants.  They needed to clear some detention hours, I needed proof of service, hence the T-shirt.  I've worn it with guilty pride a few times this summer already.  Emblazoned with VOLUNTEER in bright international orange across the back.  It is my muse.

I'm helping these causes because it doesn't take much of my time.  It will not be brain surgery and it will be for a good reason, each and every one of them.  I get the opportunity to meet all kinds of people from all different walks of life who really will have a story to tell.  I hope to tell them all during the fall.  I know someone, or of someone, who has been affected by each of these diseases.  I feel like I'm helping friends and their families directly.

I'm getting an early start on this giving thing this week.  I'm donating blood on July 4th.  I figure that there has been enough blood spilled for this nation in causes both good and bad that I can afford to give mine on a regular basis as well.  I've donated before, but its been awhile since my last donation.  I'm looking forward to it.  Besides, I get another T-shirt.