Helyn Cochran 1914-2009

This is the third, and last, time that I will write specifically about my grandmother and her life. She was a wonderful person who always had advice for you, if you asked, would always write you a letter, and loved getting them too, and never once in her life did she back down from a hard days work. Grandma Cochran will be missed and remembered as all people should.

As you can see from the dates Grandma lived through some pretty amazing things. She started her life with the Great War only to move into the Roarin' 20s and then headlong into the Great Depression. From what I understand, and was told, Grandma's life during these early years were much like that of other Americans. There were some bad times, there were some good times, but most there were times that you and I would call normal.

She was well educated, very bright, somewhat precocious, and always thinking. She married once, to Ruzell 'Mickey' Cochran, a bond that would last them a lifetime. They brought three wonderful children into the world, Sydney, Michael and Leslie. Each one of whom was so different from the other. The expectations from Grandma was always the same for each one of them, do your best, try hard (or harder), and always be honest to yourself and those around you. Each learned the lessons well. Each had wonderful families.

My oldest brother Keith, my sister Kim, and my eldest cousin Colleen, all have a much different perspective on Grandma from the rest of us. They can recall the younger version that was always lively and on the go, traveling, working, always ready to play. I did not know this version first hand. By the time I got to know grandma she was still traveling, albeit not as often (though always eating at McDonald's because it was something you could count on), she doted on her husband (except when he made her angry-which was not too often), and she kept amazing amounts of records and correspondence with people from all over. This was a lesson that she stressed to me over the last few years that I have truly taken to heart.

In grandma's apartment there is a box with pictures and her most prized possession. It is something that she put together, something she created, something that told the story of her life and the lives of those around her. Grandmother compiled a family history album in order to preserve the memories of what was happening in her world as each year passed. It has photos and family trees, it has some clippings and stories of how life was and it has a copy of every holiday letter that Grandma ever wrote. She was the Christmas newsletter before there ever was such a thing for the rest of the public.

In each letter she managed to say something about each family member, no matter their age, any travels, any tribulations, and each one of them was strangely familiar yet utterly unique. My wife and I were in charge of packing the apartment last week when we came across the lengthy tome once again. I skimmed through it a little, noticing the details in the writing (it is kept in a very ordinary large three ring binder), and the fact that even though she never really used showy language she was always a good story teller in each and every letter.

I'll miss the letters with Grandma the most. Even though it wasn't a conversation on the phone, which is immediate and direct, the letters we exchanged over the years (especially the last three or so) were so full of great details that it was better then any phone conversation I would ever be able to have with her. We were able to get the essence of what we wanted to say down to the word, instead of the prattle that can dominate a phone conversation. We all knew that grandma was fading from this earth as the cards became less frequent (you got a card for everything in grandma's world), and the letters did not come as often.

For her 95 birthday I made sure that the kids made her a nice birthday card, and I included some of my posts, and I made darn sure that there was a letter in there for her to sit and enjoy. I know that grandma enjoyed that last letter as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Helyn Cochran June 24th, 1914--August 3rd, 2009. Mrs. Cochran passed peacefully in her sleep at the Hospice House of San Joaquin County after suffering a broken hip and femur. She passed away on her terms, as always, and leaves this earth to join her husband in the after. She is survived by her daughters Sydney Dornbush, her six children and her thirteen great-grandchildren, and Leslie Flaxington, her four children and her two great-grandchildren.

Although I no longer have any grandparents living, I know that I have all of them to thank for the person I am today.