Friday, August 28, 2009

Career Choices

I never intended on being a teacher. Not once. Was never on my radar. I was good at it in high school, middle school, elementary school, I'm starting to see a pattern. I seem to be good at explaining things in multiple ways to people. I seem to be good at letting people know that I truly do care about what they become. I seem to be good at commanding an audience. I never knew any of that when I was looking at careers.

I wanted to be on Sportscenter. I saw the very first one back in 1979. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. An entire network dedicated to reporting and talking about the things I loved best. I was a little more then a casual fan even at that age. I could tell you all of the Oakland Raiders by position and give you statistics on most. I could tell you who was in playoff contention in all of the major sports, I could tell you which college teams were likely to win it all (although I did not have Indiana St. with Larry Bird on my radar), in short, I could do it all when it came to sports. I was 9.

Throughout high school I knew that I was going to make it. I had a good voice for it, I had good timing, I could read a lot plays in a lot of sports, but I had no idea on how to make a go of it. None of my teachers asked. No one asked my into the counseling office to ask. I didn't know who to ask. I did some announcing for our basketball team. I did some voiceover work for the various sports and our TV Production class (the teacher would later tell me he had never seen /heard someone with such a sense of timing at that age--a lot of good that did me). But no plan. I figured you filled out an application and sent it in.

College life was even worse. In the higher education system there was no emphasis on getting to job. I met with two counselors (one at Delta and one at UCLA) who did nothing more then check to make sure that I took the right classes to transfer and the right classes to earn a degree. There was never any talk about a job much less a career. If you wanted something to happen you had to make it happen on your own. You had to have the nerve, the spine, the cajones, to go out and 'Just Do It'. That wasn't me. Outside of my time at Delta, which I knew was a pit-stop, I never worked particularly hard in any class. I think my final transcript from UCLA is every range of 'B' grade work you could ever imagine.

I fell into teaching. I was engaged and couldn't stand the people I worked with at ALLSPORT. I thought ALLSPORT was my break. A sports photography studio/sales team that worked with just about every magazine in the world. The chance to go to every major sporting event in the world was literally possible. I couldn't stand the people I worked with. I had no one who would give me directions. I had no clue what to do. I had never held a 'real' job, I had always been around books (thanks you library systems), so I had no idea what any of this was about. I was never good at asking for help, so I didn't.

I watched my soon to be wife go through her credential program. It seemed easy. It seemed like something I could do. It had so many upsides, steady work, a lot of time off, everyone needs a teacher, what was there not to like. I knew how to deal with people, especially teenagers, so why not? I became a teacher because it seemed like the right thing to do. I wasn't afraid of it at any time. My master teacher told me that he would watch me the first few days just to make sure, and he said he would be around the building if something came up. I didn't see him again after the first five minutes of the first class. He told me at the end of the day that he would be wasting his time, and mine, if he were to try to give any advice at this time.

I've tried to leave teaching. I've seriously tried on three separate occasions. Resumes, interviews, even job offers. I even took a job as an Assistant Principal because I thought I was ready to move beyond the classroom. I was wrong. I went back to my classroom (it is not mine quite yet, I've got some work to do to make it all mine) yesterday to drop some things off and get ready for the upcoming year. I had no idea how any of it was going to make me feel. I didn't know if there would be any fear, any remorse, any what ifs. It was cathartic. It was as if the room knew I was supposed to be there.

I never really made an informed decision when it came to my career. I know now that I never really had to.

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