Start of Vacation 2009 #1

This was the most growth I've ever encountered as a person.  I learned just how much I don't like nasty people who believe that they should have their way at all times.  I learned how much it matters to care about people and that in many cases the ones that care the most are the ones that have every reason to worry or complain about the conditions they are in.  If we all cared about each other the way those who have nothing care about each other we might all see the world in a different light.  I am glad that I took the time to try something new, to be in a leadership position, but in the end I did not want to try and solve the problems of everyone else.  I am glad that I have found some peace when it comes to my professional life.  I know what I am capable of and even more importantly what I am not capable of.  

I've been looking forward to not being school.  It is the first time in a few years that is not simply about time off but it is about rejuvenation and rebirth.  I'm not sure how many times people can go through the reinvention of themselves, but I'm glad that I have on a professional level.  I know what to expect from myself and to not expect anything from those around me.  

Writing was something I planned on doing this summer.  I've never sat and written just for writing sake.  I always had to have the plan to write something--the great american novel--or something of that tragic cliched nature.  I simply think that it is important to know what you have done today, to not dwell on yesterday, and to not plan too much about tomorrow.  Too late for the cliches I guess.  

I've read more books in the past two weeks (Waveland and The Road) then I have in the last year.  I can't say enough about how it felt to be away from the world and so wrapped up in it at the same time.  The two stories are so similar--men who would do whatever is needed to make sure that everything around them is safe.  I can relate to that.  I love my kids and want nothing more than their wildest dreams.  This reading thing should be a habit I can keep up with for quite awhile.  I have a list.  I have some thoughts.  I have some want and desire.

As I put myself together this summer I am going to get my mind and body connected again.  I have been out of synch for quite sometime (almost a full year) and need to feel the rush of testoserone and adrenaline that comes with sweat and ache and muscle.  I have not sought these things for any time at all but I feel that need to produce to add to want.  It is interesting to feel the body drain through itself and prepare to rejoin the world.  

I guess the point I need to make to myself is simple.  Take this time and believe in your ability to become the best I am without trying to be anything to anyone else.