Leaving Early

I'm at home. It is 1:28 pm on a Friday and I am at home. I left work early to get here. I didn't miss a class, I don't have any classes after lunch. I'm giddy with excitement over the fact that I'm not at work right now. I have everything there under control and ready to roll. I have worked well to prepare good lessons, well prepared lessons, things that I know kids need lessons. I'm taking this time and I am going to enjoy it.

It is such a guilty pleasure to be in this situation. I have never been one to ask for very much from my school when it comes to my teaching schedule. I've pretty much been a wherever you need me kind of guy. This year was no different except I was able to get a really sweet gig. I ended up with classes I wanted as well as this glorious early weekend starter. I probably shouldn't even be writing this because there are teachers at my school who read this. I know that they will take an extra period now and then when they can as well.

It isn't like I'm going to do this every single 5th period for the rest of the year. Most of the time I'll be in my room grading papers and making phone calls and doing the teacher stuff that has to be done. I'm a lot more efficient at getting the work done then I ever was before (that is immediate and plain to me), and it is giving me the time to sit back and enjoy a few extra hours to my weekend. On a Friday I'm usually ready to be in bed and asleep by 8:00, these extra 2 hours will really make no difference in that at all. It will just give me a couple of hours to sit and decompress while my own kids are still in school. It will just make me a happier person. 2 hours is easily worth all of that.

So I'm going to go an sit on the couch and read my book with the A/C and fan combo we have going (since it is still intolerably hot), a glass of ice water and not a thought of school in my head. It feels pretty good to be home early every once in awhile.

First day jitters--I think not

They came back today. They oozed out of bed and moved into rooms and desks at hours they are certainly not use to. They checked their schedules with friends and made up schemes to try and get themselves into each others classes. They listened to a lot of rules that they already know (but sometimes do not follow). Some of them were really happy to be back and some of them were ready to ditch already.

I had 9th graders today. This is their first experience in high school. Some of them trying to prove themselves that they are more important then the class or someone else or the school itself. They are 13 and 14 years old who really still can only tell their right from their left if it is printed on their shoes (for them to see of course). They are just very immature and do not know how to seek maturity.

I was glad they were in my class today. It meant that I had a class to be in. All of my colleagues commented on the big smile I had on my face all day and said that it just wasn't fair, no one should be that happy on the first day of school. I was. For the first time in years I slept the night before without a problem, I didn't think about school at all. I knew what I needed to do in each class, I knew what else I needed to do while I was at school, I knew all I needed to know. It was a great feeling. I wasn't so booked that I couldn't make necessary changes in planning and I wasn't so behind that I only had today planned. It was great.

The kids were kids. I've been reminded by so many of the first teenagers that I taught 15 years ago that they have turned out just fine. In fact, they just put on a reunion, 10 years away from the nest (they are Nighthawks), and they commented on the fact that I was a teacher that they remembered so well (former students makeup the majority of my Facebook friends). I could feel the pride swell as I hung pictures on my classroom walls of students past. It was great to look at the faces and see just why I am in this business.

My son will be a teenager in January. He is a good kid, he makes kid mistakes, he learns from them (which is really the point). I know that he will never be the typical teenager, he isn't the typical anything and I like that. I know we have a very important choice to make about where he will attend school in 9th grade. I know that he will be successful no matter where he goes.

I like the fact that a lot of the faces I saw today got the point. They seemed like they were eager (not one tardy) and they seemed to be prepared for learning and working to learn. I'm hoping that they will sustain the momentum needed to make it through the whole year. I think that it is going to be one of the years, one of the years that will make all the difference in the world.

Paying Back Debts

I've always been a firm believer in paying off the people, not companies, you owe as soon as you can. A lot of things just work themselves out, a lunch here for a lunch there, but sometimes you lean on someone, usually a good friend, when you just don't have the cash with you. As a man I know I am always supposed to carry the 'emergency check', but I didn't have one for this particular episode.

It was right before Christmas last year. I was still working as an Assistant Principal at Huntington Beach HS and the administrative team had gone to good lengths to make sure a nice present was in everybody's (and I do mean everybody) hands before winter break. My principal at the time had ordered everything on her credit card and told us to pay her back when we could. I assumed that was going to be right after coming back from break but something happened.

One of the somethings was a fellow administrator was pregnant and due in the early spring. We wanted to make sure she had a good send off well prior to the craziness that goes on with school and gave her an early 'shower'. Once again, my principal at the time ordered everything and told us to pay her when we could. I still hadn't paid for the last debt at Christmas and now I had something more to pay. I was in shock over my predicament.

I just don't like to be in debt to people that I know. I learned long ago to not ask for money from anybody unless it was an absolute emergency that you just couldn't work out of. I can't think of more then 5 times in my entire life where I actually owed someone money. This was one of those times. My principal did not care about the money and made a fact in telling me so when I talked to her about it. It was not the only debt that I owed this person.

My principal was the first person to find out that I was thinking of, or I should say decided on, getting out of administration and moving back to the classroom. She was the one that I talked to about what was going on professionally, she was the one I talked to about the toll it was taking on me. I knew that she would give me two things, comfort and conscience. She knew what it was like to be in that situation of just dreading what was to come next. She told me that she did not see that in me and that the quality of the work getting down was excellent. She told me that she felt a very palpable change on campus because of the work I was doing.

She also told me to consider all of the things going on in my life with this change. She asked about what my expectations really were in entering administration. What was it that I didn't like? What was it that I couldn't deal with? Would you be willing to go back to the classroom? I remember clearly, "Chris, you aren't married to the job. You can always return to the classroom." It was the first time that I had heard someone else say it (besides Krista who always told me I support you no matter what). It resonated. It made my heart beat with anticipation.

A string of events led me back to a place of comfort much quicker then I ever imagined. At the semester change I went from being at Huntington to being back at Ocean View. It happened because my principal at the time made the calls to set the wheels in motion. It was my principal who saw me as a person first, and not just a warm body who occupied an office, that gave me the pick to start digging toward the light.

The problem was I still hadn't paid her. I owed her money, enough that you usually ask about it (not that she ever has). I went through the rest of the semester at Ocean View regaining my vigor, regaining my life. I sent a thank you note but that was it. I tried to cut ties with the school as much as I could just so I could keep my momentum going in the right direction. I didn't think about the debt until the other day when school started.

I went to the bank today and got the cash necessary for the payment of the debt. I wrote a note and I'll drop it in the mail tomorrow. There is nothing that I will ever be able to say or do to thank her for the career she gave back to me. For the life that she gave back to me. The fact that even though I had identified what was going on that she was instrumental in making sure I got on the fast track to recovery.

Thanks Janie. I hope you have another terrific year.

Back to Work

Teachers experience a strange phenomenon each year. We hurry and rush to put away everything and leave for vacation at the end of the year (I have never been one to come back during the summer) and then we spend 8-10 weeks on vacation only to have it come to a crashing halt in late August (where I work). The first day is one of meetings and greetings, unpacking and unloading, and the opportunity to say "this is the year I'll . . ." all over again.

I really like the people I work with. I may not always agree with them, I may not always think that they are getting things done the way I would, but they are all really good people. I do not hang out with them very much after school hours (I have kids and they are who I belong with), but I could. A lot of them are people that I could just simply call good friends. They would be there to help me in an instant, and I would be there for them as well.

Our Athletic Director, a great friend, just got married last year, bought a house this summer, and he and the wife are thinking about having kids right away. I'll help him move. I'll go volunteer at the MS Bike 150 because his mom is afflicted, I know that he is someone that will always go the extra mile and always do the right thing. Tim was one of the first people I met at Ocean View, we were teaching the same class for the first time and we needed to figure it out. It helped that we held so many common interests. He is a great guy.

There are many others--Shane (shame), Jimmy, Jim, Jeneane, Alison, Heather, Casey, Tim B., Julie, I could go on but the list would just keep growing. These people make each and every day at work a joy. They always will lift you up, they always know where you are coming from, they always know how to make things more fun. I'm lucky. I've worked in places where that is not the case. I've worked in places that you didn't know who you could, or should, count on. That is not the case at OVHS. It has always been my favorite school, of the four I've been at.

When I got to work today it felt good. When I listened to out new principal, I felt good. When I was left to take care of my classroom it made me feel good. I saw a lot of happy people today. I found a lot of people who are ready to go this school year. I know that I am ultimately in control of my own happiness, however it is great to go to work and know that I will be greeted with smiles and laughs and stories to carry me through all 183 school days.

I'm glad that I'm unpacked. I know that I'll be able to pack away a number of stories from such a great group of friends. I also can't wait to pack up and be done for another year.

Karma

I'm a big believer in Karma, or at least the western idea of what Karma is. I've never studied Karma so I do not have an exact definition, hold on while I open another tab and get a definition. Thanks for waiting. Buddhanet.net gives the following definition, ". . . from a Buddhist point of view, our present mental, moral intellectual and temperamental differences are, for the most part, due to our own actions and tendencies, both past and present." In other words folks, if do good deeds you will be repaid with good deeds and vice versa.

I'm not sure why I believe in Karma. My guess is that more truly nice people are Karma-addicts then those who aren't so nice. I guess I like the idea that someday I get "paid" for the nice things I've done for people over the course of a lifetime. The fact is I don't need a payoff to do nice things (except the t-shirt for the volunteer things), I just want to help those who need it.

Case in point, the other day I was at IKEA, loading up another project for the house (it looks great by the way), when I noticed an older couple who were waiting for the dock guy to get all the way down to them and help them get the load into their truck. There was no way they were going to be able to get this load into the bed of the truck. It was a bed frame and mattress. She was in her early 50s and her father was in his 70s and walked with a cane. It wasn't going to happen for them. I loaded up my truck (5 minutes) and walked down to ask them if they needed help. Anyone of the 10 to 15 people who were loading up could have done the same thing. I decided they had better things to do then sit in the IKEA parking lot hoping that someone would get to them. They were grateful, a little shocked, but happy to be on their way.

I can't spend my time not helping out. It just seems silly not trying to brighten the day of people, including yourself. For people who have known me for a great length of time they understand that I'm a helper but they also know that I'm a sarcastic cynic who can also look at the 'other side' and play 'devil's advocate' just because it is in my nature. I'm tired of that nature. I do not want to be the 'and/or' guy any more. I want to be, and am trying to become, the 'and' guy. This and that. Hopefully through good acts it will all work out.

So if you are in need of an extra set of hands for your volunteer event, or stuck in the lot at IKEA, if I'm around I'll help. Karma says so.

Career Choices

I never intended on being a teacher. Not once. Was never on my radar. I was good at it in high school, middle school, elementary school, I'm starting to see a pattern. I seem to be good at explaining things in multiple ways to people. I seem to be good at letting people know that I truly do care about what they become. I seem to be good at commanding an audience. I never knew any of that when I was looking at careers.

I wanted to be on Sportscenter. I saw the very first one back in 1979. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. An entire network dedicated to reporting and talking about the things I loved best. I was a little more then a casual fan even at that age. I could tell you all of the Oakland Raiders by position and give you statistics on most. I could tell you who was in playoff contention in all of the major sports, I could tell you which college teams were likely to win it all (although I did not have Indiana St. with Larry Bird on my radar), in short, I could do it all when it came to sports. I was 9.

Throughout high school I knew that I was going to make it. I had a good voice for it, I had good timing, I could read a lot plays in a lot of sports, but I had no idea on how to make a go of it. None of my teachers asked. No one asked my into the counseling office to ask. I didn't know who to ask. I did some announcing for our basketball team. I did some voiceover work for the various sports and our TV Production class (the teacher would later tell me he had never seen /heard someone with such a sense of timing at that age--a lot of good that did me). But no plan. I figured you filled out an application and sent it in.

College life was even worse. In the higher education system there was no emphasis on getting to job. I met with two counselors (one at Delta and one at UCLA) who did nothing more then check to make sure that I took the right classes to transfer and the right classes to earn a degree. There was never any talk about a job much less a career. If you wanted something to happen you had to make it happen on your own. You had to have the nerve, the spine, the cajones, to go out and 'Just Do It'. That wasn't me. Outside of my time at Delta, which I knew was a pit-stop, I never worked particularly hard in any class. I think my final transcript from UCLA is every range of 'B' grade work you could ever imagine.

I fell into teaching. I was engaged and couldn't stand the people I worked with at ALLSPORT. I thought ALLSPORT was my break. A sports photography studio/sales team that worked with just about every magazine in the world. The chance to go to every major sporting event in the world was literally possible. I couldn't stand the people I worked with. I had no one who would give me directions. I had no clue what to do. I had never held a 'real' job, I had always been around books (thanks you library systems), so I had no idea what any of this was about. I was never good at asking for help, so I didn't.

I watched my soon to be wife go through her credential program. It seemed easy. It seemed like something I could do. It had so many upsides, steady work, a lot of time off, everyone needs a teacher, what was there not to like. I knew how to deal with people, especially teenagers, so why not? I became a teacher because it seemed like the right thing to do. I wasn't afraid of it at any time. My master teacher told me that he would watch me the first few days just to make sure, and he said he would be around the building if something came up. I didn't see him again after the first five minutes of the first class. He told me at the end of the day that he would be wasting his time, and mine, if he were to try to give any advice at this time.

I've tried to leave teaching. I've seriously tried on three separate occasions. Resumes, interviews, even job offers. I even took a job as an Assistant Principal because I thought I was ready to move beyond the classroom. I was wrong. I went back to my classroom (it is not mine quite yet, I've got some work to do to make it all mine) yesterday to drop some things off and get ready for the upcoming year. I had no idea how any of it was going to make me feel. I didn't know if there would be any fear, any remorse, any what ifs. It was cathartic. It was as if the room knew I was supposed to be there.

I never really made an informed decision when it came to my career. I know now that I never really had to.

Tolerate, I Don't Want to Tolerate

It is hot. Today it was 95. Yesterday it was 91. Tomorrow is more of the same. I don't like it. I like to bathed in a comfortable atmosphere that allows me to not concern myself with the conditions. I don't mind the cold, rain doesn't bother me, but don't make me too hot. It is funny after growing up in the Central Valley of California where 100+ degrees can be the norm, that I can no longer deal with it once it gets up to 85.

My house does not have air conditioning. A large number of houses in Orange County, southern California really, do not have A/C. I live 4 miles from the beach in two separate directions. I should not need A/C. 355 out of 365 days a year I do not need it at all. It is those 10 days that I remember each and every year. Those 10 days that drive me crazy.

I went to Lowe's last night and purchased a portable A/C unit. In fact, I bought 2. I'm only using 1 of them at the moment, the nighttime temperature has been low enough to get the fans in the windows and get the fresh air in. This A/C unit has provided a nice little oasis in the house. It has given us a room to sit in and be comfortable during the day. We only need it for the next few days since we will be back at school next week (where even though we have had to cut everything else in the budget, we have not had to cut A/C yet). The wife and kids are watching a movie as the sunset happens, as I write, and as the rest of the world starts to cool off.

It is funny how the idea of tolerance works for people. For me it isn't about simply putting up with someone or something, it is the ability to actual live with that someone or something without wanting to tear them/it to shreds. I have come to the point in my life where I no longer will simply tolerate whatever it is around me. This has been part of my change, part of my growth, part of my new beginning.

When I went into work today, for the first time since summer started and the first time as a teacher NOT an administrator, I knew that I couldn't just tolerate what went on any more. If I need something, I'm going to get it. If I think a student can do more I will not tolerate them not doing more. It is not about confrontation it is about not settling for the mediocrity that so often comes with tolerance. I know better then to settle. I don't want to settle, I want what I believe is the best for me, my family and the jobs I must undertake each and every day.

Don't tolerate. Don't settle. Don't allow yourself to be in the easy rut that some of us dig and never get out of.