Sleeping

I don't always sleep well.  I am very particular about so many things.  Temperature, sounds, clothes, thoughts, routines.  I've tried just about everything to make it work better but it just doesn't seem to help.  

I started a number of years ago with insomnia.  I just couldn't go to sleep.  I would sing songs, think about the things I had to do the next day, what I didn't get done today.  I read, meditated, medicated.  Nothing worked.  Then I started falling right to sleep one night.  No issues at all.

Of course I wasn't staying asleep.  It seemed to fall into a series of patterns.  At the appointed hour, sometimes 2:00 AM, other times 4:00 AM, I would break out into either a sweat or a shiver.  I end up in the bathroom trying to cool off or warm up (I usually have two sets of pj's out each night) so that I can get back in bed successfully.  Of course, I had to get back to sleep.  It happens most nights, it is just fitful.  Tossing and turning, until minutes before the alarm is due to go off, and I'm in a deep sleep.

My wife and kids sleep.  My wife lists sleeping as one of her hobbies on Facebook.  She never has problems getting to sleep.  She never has trouble sleeping all night.  She can sleep.  My kids--the exact same.  I'm glad for it.  It keeps me from the worry.  

I usually don't write this late in the evening.  I find that writing keeps me up.  I usually don't watch TV at night because it keeps me up.  Tonight will be different.  At least that's what I'll tell myself again tonight.